You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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