I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The dick lei will go down in squad history
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
