cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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