This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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