It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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