it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
