We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
