He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize