WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm always down for nudity.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
