roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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