Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You are a genius and a whore.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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