i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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