you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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