I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
