When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
