YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Randomize
