he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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