dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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