You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
