Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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