I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
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