i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Randomize
