i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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