What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
