Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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