im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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