i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
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I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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