do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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