Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Randomize