can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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