Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
