I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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