Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
