I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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