who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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