Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
