I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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