Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
