I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize