Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
