Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
