guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize