i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
