that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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