Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
