What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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