ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
