Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
