the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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