On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
