quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
