anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
