I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
