This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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