When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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