There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize