p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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