I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
