Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize