she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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