so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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