I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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