I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize